Thailand has been labelled the land of smiles. True, if you're a balding middle aged white man with an overhanging stomach, a few bucks in your pocket and the desire for an Asian woman to cater to your every need. They'll smile at you alright!
It's safe to assume, and indeed history tells us that it's true, that foreign men provide young Thai women with money, clothes, gifts and adoration in exchange for some very ordinary sex. Oh wait, perhaps that's just me assuming now. My bad. At least the average sex would be over quickly. Oh shit, there I go 'assuming' again.
What surprised me most about the young/old, white/Asian partnerships everywhere in Thailand is just how unashamed it is. Seedy yes. But honest.
It's a common sight. A group of suit pant wearing white guys walking down the street with a gut full of beer, talking loudly and clearly relinquishing being 'away' from wherever home is and acting young and invincible. They could quite easily be mistaken for any bunch of blokes on a Friday night in Manchester or Melbourne to the unknowing.
But the difference is this. Trailing these groups of men are young Thai women, staggering around awkwardly in very high heeled shoes, wearing minimal clothing, covered in heavy makeup and rock solid hairstyles. And most noticeably. They stare at the ground.
And as they walk the streets searching for whatever destination - probably the next bar or hotel room (wretch) - not one of the men or women meet the eye. A sign that while the men and women are happy to play the role of 'I don't give a flying fuck' - a part of them did indeed give a fuck that flies. Inside they were ashamed to some degree. A complete contradiction to the confident exterior portrayed.
Not all of the partnerships operated in such a flamboyant manner. Several couples did seem legitimately interested in each other. But again, something wasn't right about the match up. No one. Not one. Not a single, random, accidental person in a young/old, Thai/white foreigner partnership meets a passerby's gaze. And I tried...to the point where it was getting ridiculously obvious. You'd swear the ground was made of pure gold or something because that is where their eyes remained fixed!
It's an ugly stereotype, and unfortunate for legitimate interracial couples caught under the mail-order umbrella, but it's undeniable that exploitation is often at play. Western men, who perhaps weren't appreciated by Western women for whatever reasons, are going elsewhere. To a place where they are considered wealthy. The plus side is that they can specify exactly what they want from a woman, come to a long or short term arrangement, provide payments in exchange for it. Nice doing business with you!
Other travellers agreed that this was an unpleasant and awkward sight. Albeit a true part of the Thailand experience. But one particular Irish girl didn't agree that it was always the white guy taking advantage of the Thai girl.
She had been travelling a while and spoken with many Thai girls along the way who had entered into these 'arrangements' with older (and probably much heavier) foreign men. And these little gals said it was them pulling the strings.
They believed they had entered into the perfect relationship. For example. They were being paid frequently which made it a job. The men were away from Thailand most of the time so they were free to live and spend time with families, friends or other partners. And the sex was often rarely required because of the little time their funder was actually present. These little Thai queens played their part when required, but most of the time they were left to be. Sly little geniuses!
So who's exploiting who? I'm suddenly not so sure. Maybe there isn't any and it's a simple case and mutual using!
There was one - and only one - situation which made me queazy. And that was in Chiang Mai where I watched a man sleazily grope a young Thai girl no older than 11 years old in a bar. What disturbed me most is that her mother, owner of the bar, was present and saw no problem with the behaviour. He was Australian and probably aged mid 30's. Leaving Melbourne International Airport there's a large sign at customs reminding travellers that child sex abroad is still a criminal act in Australia. Goes to show how common it must be.
One thing that should be noted is that these types of behaviour were not openly common in Vietnam, Laos or Cambodia. If it's there, and certainly it is, it is still underground behaviour. I wonder if it will stay that way?
Best of luck to both sides playing the game!
